We all know that dating is never easy, but the first step to finding your soul mate is to accept yourself for who you are and keep your confidence high. Here’s what Rachel Russo, a famous New York City-based dating coach says about confidence in big beautiful women:
“The overweight single must not be apologetic for his/her weight but should rather embrace it, and realize [that a person’s] weight does not have to impact [someone’s] self-worth — and the ability to love and be loved.”
However, how does one have ‘unshakeable confidence’ in a society that puts thin girls on a pedestal?
Founder of The Curvy Fashionista blog, Marie Denee says that you have to learn how to accept yourself, no matter what. Here’s her brilliant piece of advice to all the plus sized ladies who need some encouragement:
“In order to have confidence, you have to accept yourself for the beautiful person you are. Not everyone will like you — and this is OK! You are not attracted to every person, are you? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but more importantly, you have to accept yourself for who you are — curves, love handles and all!”
Another exceptional woman, holistic health counselor Golda Poretsky, urges BBW women to stop thinking that others find them unattractive. It’s precisely those assumptions that limit us and don’t allow us to relax and enjoy our lives. This is what she said:
“What do you assume [anything negative] about your attractiveness? Do you think you ‘can’t wear’ certain things? Do you assume that certain people, based on their looks or background, won’t be interested in you? Get clear on your assumptions and practice operating without them. It will open up worlds!”
However, always be honest, especially when posting pictures of yourself on BBW dating sites. Russo advises you to upload pictures that truly represent your appearance in order to avoid embarrassing situations:
“Photos that don’t accurately represent how a dater currently looks are a recipe for disappointment — by both parties. The person who initially saw the photos is likely to feel deceived, frustrated, and turned off. Weight/body type is often an important part of one’s matching criteria. It is also something that people don’t easily change their minds on. I often hear complaints from men about women who appeared 10-20 pounds lighter in photos. Contrary to what the women may have hoped for, the men almost never seemed to be attracted enough to the women to look past the lie.”
Poretsky also says that you should focus on your strengths and that you have to learn how to accentuate the positive:
“Accentuate the parts of your body that you already like,” Poretsky says. “Even if you’re new to the body acceptance game, there’s probably some part of you that you like. Maybe it’s your eyes, or your hands, or your cleavage. Accentuate that part with makeup, clothing, jewelry or shimmery body lotion.”
Last but not least, remember that literary everyone gets rejected at some point in their life, be that on BBW dating sites or elsewhere. Poretsky stresses that rejection is a normal part of dating and it should not lower your confidence and self-esteem. This is her awesome advice:
“It’s important to remind yourself that rejection happens to everyone. It’s just part of dating! If you’re always blaming your size for dating woes, it’s time to stop. The answer is to date more, not less. Rejection hurts a lot less when you have a date lined up for the next night.”
